Yup. In stores, at home, everywhere. I think being able to project my voice across a room full of busy teenagers has permanently affected my ability to modulate my volume.
Which is to say: not at all.
Recently graduated with a B.A in English education. AVID tutor. Substitute teacher. Attempting to navigate life outside of college.
Feel free to send me a message, especially if you have any questions about student teaching :]
[Also if you follow me and then randomly get a follow from another Tumblr with "Allison" in the title, that's my personal.]
But then they moved my loans to a more local financial company, which is fine. But my account isn’t up yet. And my loans are due on the 14th of every month. And it is now the 15th. And I can’t get my loans paid. And I’m freaking out. And I couldn’t get through to a human being with either company because I no longer have an account with the first bank and don’t have an account yet with the new bank. And apparently I can’t talk to a human unless I have an account number.
I swear to god, if I’m charged a late fee for this, I’m going to raise bloody hell.
Back to the hunt. I applied for four or five more jobs last night. I’m just getting so frustrated.
It’s for a librarian job at the school where I’m an AVID tutor.
I’ve never had a librarian job interview before. Any librarians here want to let me know some of the questions they were asked?
How to Turn All Your Essays into Feminist Rants No Matter the Subject Matter: An Autobiography by Me.
Literally me. Every single essay in college.
Helllloooooo front of the pack!
1. Schools are REALLY FREAKING HOT when it’s 85+ degrees and the air conditioning either doesn’t exist or isn’t turned on, except for a few rooms here and there.
2. Students are extremely unaware of the world in which we live sometimes. Whilst talking about women’s rights and how we’re still discriminated against, the notion of consent came up and students didn’t realize that when you’re drunk, you cannot give consent to have sex. It blew their mind. It made me realize that despite what others may say, we really do have to teach our children about sexual assault and not to rape.
3. The pride you feel when a student comes in beaming because he got a fabulous ACT score and will now be able to go to a bunch of schools he wanted to go to is amazing. I feel just as happy as he does. And I’m just a tutor.
4. There are only 3 tutorial days left. The school year is almost over. And I have no job lined up for next year besides subbing and tutoring. I’d like my own classroom, please.
1. I got sleep. Last week was crazy and I wasn’t getting much sleep and as a result, I was crazy emotional. Seriously, I turn into a toddler when I’m tired. On Saturday, I drove home from work crying the entire way, because I was tired and feeling sorry for myself. And then I went to bed at 10:30 and slept 12 hours. And now I feel fabulous.
2. I joined the gym. I figured, if I can’t take control over where my career is headed, I might as well take control of my body. I’m tired of being big. I want to be curvy — I just can’t ever picture myself being skinny — but I want to be healthy. I want to be proud of myself. I want to know that I can do it. I’m fitting in time at the gym whenever I can. Today, for example, I got out of AVID early and went to the gym for an hour and then my friend called me and we went for a three mile walk around the forest preserve. I’m bone tired, but it’s because I worked hard - not because I’m running between a million jobs.
3. Speaking of jobs, things might be looking up. My friend (who I walked with today) is currently a librarian at the school I tutor for. She just got a job as a full-time special education teacher, so her position in the library is opening up. And she’s been talking me up to her boss and the English Department Chair who runs the library. So yay! The job will be posted online sometime this week and I have to rush to get it entered so I can be considered. But I’m really, really hopeful!
4. There are only three weeks left of school. And I’m probably not working that last week of finals. So really, two weeks. How freaking insane is that?!
I just checked the #education tag for the first time all week because reading about other people in their classrooms makes me incredibly jealous and frustrated.
I just want my own classroom. I’m getting paranoid again that I haven’t heard about any interviews in a while and that more and more people are getting hired places.
Yes, eventually, I’ll find a job. But I can’t be searching forever.
hell to the yeahhhhhh.
My AVID kids have apparently been plotting ways to get an English teacher fired so that I can be their English teacher.
My kids are the sweetest.
My AVID kids came in today, fresh off of standardized testing yesterday and Tuesday, with really lame, BSed TRFs. They did crappy ones because a crappy TRF is better than no TRF. But my group is sitting there, watching another student give their lame question and 30 second speech when suddenly:
“Ms. H? How do you write a resume?”
And suddenly we had a real question.
I told them what’s on mine. I wrote up a quick version of mine. I gave them a quick, no-frills outline. We used one student’s own experience to write a resume on the smart board.
Suddenly, that 90 minute class period flew by because we had a real question. (also, I was teaching, even a group of three kids, and it was amazing.)
And my homebound student is FINALLY, after two months of recovery time at home, back in school. She was back in fourth block AVID, giving me just as much shit as she does at home (and I truly mean that in the sweetest way possible. I love this girl). She’s talking to her friends whom she desperately missed. She doesn’t have the drain hooked up to her incision anymore. She can be like a real teenager again.
And that’s why today, despite my 15 hour day, was pretty awesome.
I was pretty upset about getting told thanks, but no thanks from my old high school, but today, I realized that it was probably a really good thing that I was told no.
Today, while I subbed, I was called Ally by no less than four employees in the building. Only one person in my life calls me Ally anymore, and we got close in high school. The only people who call me Ally knew me in high school only. It’s something I deal with because after them knowing me for so long, I can’t change their habits. I don’t bother. It annoys me, but for four or five years, I called myself by Ally.
And then I grew out of it. I grew up and realized that the name Allison didn’t suck as much as I thought it did when I was thirteen.
It’s a little thing, really; what they call me. But in the grander scheme of things, it matters a lot.
I realized today after two people in a row called me Ally - including the sub coordinator, whom I met only this year when I was hired - that most of these people still see me as a high schooler. Or, at least, not fully an adult or, more importantly, a teacher. It’s hard enough getting the students to take me seriously as a substitute teacher when security stops me in the hall to ask where my hall pass is. But I realized today that I can’t work in a place where I’m not taken as seriously.
During my interview, I was interviewed by my junior English teacher, the principal, and the associate principal. By the end of the interview, the principal was calling me Ally, despite my resume, cover letter, and every document they had having me listed as Allison.
Like I said, a little thing.
But ultimately, I want to find a school where I can stand on my own. I want who I am now to matter far more than I who I was as a high school student. I want to make my own dent as a teacher, not as an older high school student. I’m not eighteen anymore. Yes, I’m still young and live at home and have lots to learn. But I am an adult and a teacher and I want a chance to prove it based on my own merit and not what my former teachers may remember me as.
So maybe this “no” was really one of the best things to have happened to me.
I know it’s risky to get one before securing a full-time teaching job. But I’m wondering if it would be worth it to do it now, while I have more time. Would it help find me a job, or would it only hurt my chances because school districts would have to pay me more for less experience?
You’ll be fine. You’re 25. Feeling unsure and lost is part of your path. Don’t avoid it. See what those feelings are showing you and use it. Take a breath. You’ll be okay. Even if you don’t feel okay all the time.
Louis CK (via therealmeighan)
Needed this today.
Definitely need this.