Adventures of a Teacher in Transition

dliteful answered your question: The woes of poetry.

omg! YOU ARE the coolest teacher ever! Beatles songs!? thats awesome!

hahaha Thank you!

After I played Hard Day’s Night, I asked if the kids had heard it before I played it, and only 2 or 3 raised their hands. I told the class they failed.

My freshmen are just not getting it. Actually, I lie, a very, very select handful of them are. But the majority of them aren’t. Today, we were identifying poetic devices within Beatles songs (tomorrow, they’ll identify them in songs of their choice) and they couldn’t find any of them besides the very obvious similes. We have spent the last four days in class doing worksheets and talking about poetic devices. They took a quiz today where they  just had to match the device with its definition and the average score was somewhere between a 40 and 60 percent.

I don’t know how else to teach them these concepts. I can’t spend more time on just the devices - I’m already two days behind. But I just don’t know what to do.

I had to lead them to almost every device and had to completely walk them through labeling the rhyme scheme. And this is just identifying. We haven’t even begun to discuss the meaning of poems. 

And it’s even more frustrating because I gave them so much in-class time to work on a 5 page packet that I spent a lot of time creating and a good handful of them didn’t do so many pages of it. I literally assigned one page that we didn’t do in class; they just had to finish what they couldn’t finish at home. I realize I can’t force them to do anything. I just hate that they’re basically laughing at me by not doing their work. At least that’s how it feels.

*sigh* Any ideas?

I don’t know how to even go about planning you.

Stupid Teaching of Literature. You were a joke and didn’t prepare me AT ALL.

I don’t even know where to begin with my units on One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Hamlet and Romeo and Juliet.

Well, I lied, I know that R&J needs to start with an “About Shakespeare” lesson or two or three. But as for the content… no ideas.

I suppose I should talk to my CTs. They’d probably be helpful.

I survived week one of student teaching.

I’m already having meltdown moments. I’m scared of what will come when I actually have a full load rather than just one prep.

Today I thought went better than yesterday. I’m working on developing my “teacher voice” which is much more difficult when I’m not reprimanding kids and telling them to sit-their-butts-back-in-their-desks-because-how-many-times-do-I-have-to-tell-you-to-not-line-up-at-the-door. So I know I have it (and trust me, yelling at fifth graders across a college campus has strengthened that. So I just have to learn how to use it when I’m just teaching and not punishing. Harder than it seems. I think I’m being loud enough but I’m obviously not.

I also noticed that I need to work on responding to student answers. Today, I had the freshmen share some of their examples (we were working on imagery and mood today) and I wasn’t always sure how to reply to them because I don’t want to just say “awesome response. Next!” or something like that. But I don’t know how to be completely witty yet because I don’t have a rapport with them yet so my sense of humor (dry, sarcastic) probably won’t work on them.

Today, during 6th hour (cafeteria duty) there was a little memorial thing where students were invited to go outside to the parking lot to watch and wave as a funeral procession for a former graduate went by the school. This guy was a Marine helicopter pilot and his chopper went down last week. It was really incredible and moving. I stayed in the cafeteria because my CTs wanted to be outside because they actually knew the student, but there were only a handful of students who didn’t go outside, so it wasn’t bad. Plus, my school was on the evening news tonight because of our little memorial. It’s so nice to see a school on the news for something positive rather than something terrible.

During lunch, there are always a few tables with the special education students and it’s always really great to see the “normal” (I hate using this word, but I will) students interact with them and treat them kindly. It makes me so happy to see them not be mean or rude or say something when the kids leave. So many kids, I feel, wouldn’t be so nice, so it just makes them much better in my mind.

So glad it’s Friday. :)

I miss when 9am was early and I could stay up all night and exhaustion went away.

And damn it, I’m only on week one. I have about 910490302 more weeks left.

And it didn’t go terribly for my first day. Obviously, lots of things I need to work on, but it’s only day one so I’m not beating myself up over it.

Things my CT said I should work on:

1. BE LOUDER. My “loud” is his quiet. I need a teacher voice.
2. SLOW DOWN. I need to remember that these are freshmen. It has been a very long time since I was a freshman.
3. MORE EXAMPLES. See #2.
4. WORK IT (the room).  I was a little limited since I used a powerpoint and the normal projector that has a remote is out for repairs so I was kind of stuck behind the desk. I know I need to move around and I was trying, but it’s hard when I’m stuck changing slides.

Those were the big things Scott talked to me about, but overall, it’s not too bad. I know that I know my content. So tonight, I’m making up some worksheets so we can really work on the figurative language concepts that I really want them to know (imagery, tone, and the aspects of sound [assonance, etc.])

Today, I also attended a meeting for a student’s 504. This poor kid has some joint disorder that basically pops his joints out of place or something to that affect at the most random movements. He’s been out of school since September and has a tutor helping him at home. This poor kid; it must be so hard for him.

So glad tomorrow is Friday. Real life is exhausting.

• There is a student in one of my freshmen classes that looks like Emma Stone’s twin. It’s uncanny. So far, she even has something of the same personality. I’m partially convinced it’s Emma Stone under a fake name and doing some research on being a teenager.

• I take over my two freshmen classes tomorrow. I start with poetry. I’m not worried about the content, I’m worried about how my students are going to perceive me. Scott is a very sarcastic and funny guy who jokes with the kids all the time. I don’t know how to do that and teach and be like that. So I’m just worried they’re going to think I’m super boring compared to Scott.

• I helped facilitate a discussion today in my sophomore honors classes!

• I was actually helpful today. In that, I ran a bunch of copies and gathered the data from surveys that Ben gave out yesterday. So basically, I wasn’t just sitting on my computer playing solitaire during my off periods. (I can’t get online with my laptop because I need a password and they can’t give it to me. If I could, I would actually get planning done.)

• I finally learned the code to get into the office. There are three entrances to the office (it’s HUGE and is for all teachers). 2 doors have a keypad and one doesn’t so students can come in. It’s really annoying because I had to walk past one door, past my desk, and then go into the other door and walk back to my desk. Not okay.

Wish me luck tomorrow! I’m actually going to be teaching instead of sitting!

I got to school at 6:45 or so and got my parking pass so I don’t get ticketed. Then I went to Ben’s (one of my CTs) classroom and helped him set up for one of his classes. I got to sit through a departmental meeting, which was interesting. I feel very awkward sitting in meetings, because I’m still in the mindset that I’m a student, and not a teacher. But this experience is about me learning how to be a teacher, so I suppose part of that is learning about departmental issues.

I introduced myself in Ben’s two classes that I’ll be taking over and helped some kids find their new seats, which made me feel somewhat useful. After those two classes, I went with Scott (my other CT) to our two freshmen classes and introduced myself and met the kids and watched them contain groans as I told them I’d be starting to teach poetry on Thursday.

I have cafeteria duty sixth hour instead of ninth hour study hall, which is rather annoying because instead of sitting and getting some stuff done, I’m stuck walking around the cafeteria making sure kids aren’t on their phones and pick up their trash.  But I met a girl who has just graduated this past semester and is long-term subbing for an English teacher on maternity leave and we talked during a lot of it. So it’s nice to know that there’s someone as young as me who was just in my shoes. :)

My last class was just like the other classes, where I introduced myself and said some things about myself. 

All in all, the day went just dandy. I got an ID AND I got my own desk! So that’s super exciting! 

I honestly think that what I’m most scared of isn’t the actual teaching portion or not being smart enough.

It’s that I won’t like it or I won’t be any good at it.

I don’t know what else I would do with my life besides teach. But what if I really can’t stand the high schoolers? What if I am just absolutely terrible at it? I’ve barely had any experience teaching. All those methods classes were so safe and microteaching is nowhere near the same as actually teaching real students.

What if I’m just an absolute failure?

I honestly think that what I’m most scared of isn’t the actual teaching portion or not being smart enough.

It’s that I won’t like it or I won’t be any good at it.

I don’t know what else I would do with my life besides teach. But what if I really can’t stand the high schoolers? What if I am just absolutely terrible at it? I’ve barely had any experience teaching. All those methods classes were so safe and microteaching is nowhere near the same as actually teaching real students.

What if I’m just an absolute failure?

He’s apparently on vacation. Plus, there’s apparently a huge snow storm coming, so most of all of the supervisors aren’t coming anyway. We were supposed to go until 3 or so, but we’re going to get out around 11:30 now so those of us who have to go back up north can get home safely. 

So now I’m going to have to schedule a meeting time with him and my two CTs to meet, which could be interesting. And I’m supposed to call him tonight or tomorrow to discuss some attachments he emailed… only there aren’t any attachments. Fail.

Oh student teaching in the winter….

We talked a lot about resumes and cover letters, which only served to show me that no one can give me a definitive answer of what is preferred. Good thing we’ll be talking to an actual principal tomorrow and can get better answers from someone who actually looks at applications.

A high school teacher came in an talked about special education and inclusion and IEPs/504s and all that jazz. Today is the first time in five years of education that I have learned about anything involving special needs or IEPs. I wish I was joking. Accommodating special needs kids is one of the things that I have zero experience doing. The only teaching experience prior to student teaching is at a lab school, which is a dream school with all over-achieving students. So, I wish that this session was longer because I could use all the instruction regarding this that I can get.

We also had a 40-year veteran teacher come in and talk about classroom management which was really insightful. He had some really great tips about how to respectfully discipline and make sure everything goes smoothly.

And finally, we talked over some situations that have previously come up in other student teachers’ experiences, like not being allowed to do things, overhearing gossip, and a student coming onto you. Some of it was really entertaining to listen to people, plus the supervisor has about a million stories to tell. 

But it was just so long. 

Well, plus it didn’t help that I barely got any sleep last night. But oh well. Shit happens. Hopefully it will be an early night tonight.

Tomorrow, I am heading back to ISU for the first time since finals. I have two days worth of seminars on Thursday and Friday. They’re officially the Professional Issues Seminars, but I call them “two days of listening to people talk at me about what not to do during student teaching and dealing with the shit that is LiveText”

It will be nice to see all of my English education friends. And it will be weird being back on campus when I’m not actually taking a class. I definitely DO NOT miss walking across the quad in the freezing cold.

So off to ISU I go tomorrow. Also, I have a hotel room, which is strange. I feel like I should be in my apartment…. but I don’t have an apartment anymore.

That way, this is semi professional. Not everyone who cares about me student teaching is going to care about my Glee/Castle/Big Bang Theory spamming and/or complaining.

I’ll probably keep this blog pretty active, only because I don’t want to spam everyone else with a bunch of student teaching complaining.

I can’t believe I start on Monday. This is insane. It seemed like forever ago that I started college, and now, five long years later, I’m finally going to be teaching.