Adventures of a Teacher in Transition

It kind of shocks me how much I’ve grown from where I was back in January and absolutely terrified at the beginning of student teaching.

I was a whiny bitch for a long stretch of time there; I’m constantly shocked that anyone followed this blog and put up with it. 

I had a really, really rough time for the first half or so of student teaching — to the point where I was really doubting whether I could even do it and wondering whether or not I actually wanted to do it. I went to bed multiple times crying myself to sleep from exhaustion and frustration at feeling like I was failing at something I so desperately wanted to be good at.

I was trying so hard and feeling like nothing I was doing was working.

And then, somehow, someday, it just… changed. I got better. 

I learned to ask good questions, to seek more and more advice, to embrace my failure and use what worked and get rid of or change what didn’t work. I taught a book I thoroughly enjoyed and didn’t have to fake it.

I loved going into my classes and hearing things from my students that changed my perception of the novel. I learned things about film and my students’ perceptions on important issues. I bonded with students and was genuinely heartbroken to turn the class back over to my cooperating teacher. I was asked to come to track meets and was awed by my students’ artistic abilities in the winter musical.

I became a different person in those last few weeks of student teaching when I actually felt like I knew what I was doing (even if we don’t ever really know what we’re doing). I changed and I grew and I began to develop my own teaching style. I learned that I didn’t have to be my cooperating teachers. I just had to be me. I had to do what was best for me as a teacher — but more importantly, what was best for my students.

So I guess what I’m saying is that teaching changed me. I’m certainly not the same person I was seven months ago. And that’s a good thing.

And I also want to say thank you to everyone in the #education community for the amazing things you did for me, whether you knew it or not. I felt comfort in knowing that I wasn’t the only student teacher struggling and feeling incompetent. I received amazing advice from veteran teachers here, found support from people across the world, made connections I wouldn’t trade for the world.

All I can say is thank you. And to those of you embarking on the student teaching adventure in the fall (and beyond) just know that you’re not alone. Don’t think that you have to do everything by yourself. If I can help even one person on one day, then I’ll be able to start paying forward all the wonderful things that this community has done for me.